Return of the Post

Sorry, I've been out. Things being busy and I haven't been able to collect all those cool posts..Without further, adieu...

"I was born naked and I'll be buried naked but right now i'm wearing nice pants."


"I just bought 2 pairs of glasses. Now when someone wants to hit me I can put on my glasses and imply that one would not hit a man with glasses, and then they will not hit me because of the glasses."


"Andrew W.K. is good house-cleaning music. When it's time to vacuum we will vacuum hard"


"James Taylor sings a pretty song, but has he really ever been there for you? Winter no. Spring no. Summer and fall? No. I thought all I had to do was call."

It came from the depths of an empty Tecate bottle...

"I never realized how bad that "If you like Pina Colada" song is until I listened to the the whole thing." Drunk Grad Student (DGS)

"People who don't dance when there is live dancey music are doing it all wrong." -DGS

''I am a creature, I am surviving. I want to be alone, but I want your body. So when you eat me, mother and baby, oh baby mother me before you eat me.'' -DGS

It's 2:04 am in the morning, do you know what your drunk grad student friend is saying??

Chances are, he's drinking and posting hilarious things via facebook through txt messages (short form for text is txt, because it requires too much effort to actually add an "e". Who the fuck has time for adding "e"'s? Not m', because I gots stuff to do like.. blog posting, snark toasting, and pig roasting... )

Soo without further ah-dieuuu.

"You know who never has to deal with existential crises? Unicorns."- Drunk Grad Student, via txt to facebook

"I wish i had a machine or trained monkey to pre-open all of my pistachios." -Drunk Grad Student, via txt to facebook

"Things that are funnier when you're drunk: words, pictures, ideas, objects, Marmaduke." -Drunk Grad Student, via txt to facebook


I can only imagine what took place within a span of an HOUR.... 

Welcome to the welcome-y blog post thingy..

So I decided to created this blog for the sole purpose of writing down the funny things that my drunk grad student friend says. It's worth it's weight in gold. Or at least a mildly amusing coffee table book. Why isn't there a Pulitzer for funny blogs.. I'm just saying...